Discover How Being Drip Fed Fear Kept Ricky Martin Locked In A Suppressive Closet

It didn’t come as a surprise to many of us when Ricky Martin revealed yesterday that he was gay. In fact if we’re honest it was probably one of the worst kept secrets in the entertainment world of recent times after that of Sean Hayes from Will & Grace.

So why did Ricky bother to keep it a secret when basically everyone already knew? It’s the same reason that many gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people stay in the closet. Fear. And the sad thing about this fear is it doesn’t come from us as individuals. It’s something that’s fed to us by those around us, and usually those that are most important in our life, whether that be from family or those acting to help us achieve what we want in our lives, whether that be to do with education, work or in Ricky Martin’s case achieving success in the entertainment industry.

Writing on his website, Ricky talks about exactly this. Discussing how the people who surrounded him in the guise of helping him achieve his potential in an industry that’s all about personality, Martin reveals how in his case it acted to do the opposite leaving him feeling he first must hide who he truly was till it got to a point he was too fearful to do anything else:

“Many people told me: “Ricky it’s not important”, “it’s not worth it”, “all the years you’ve worked and everything you’ve built will collapse”, “many people in the world are not ready to accept your truth, your reality, your nature”. Because all this advice came from people who I love dearly, I decided to move on with my life not sharing with the world my entire truth. Allowing myself to be seduced by fear and insecurity became a self-fulfilling prophecy of sabotage. Today I take full responsibility for my decisions and my actions.”

So what has changed for Martin? Well some might say the fact he has a memoir out soon and isn’t as popular as he used to be has a lot to do with it, and part of that is undoubtedly true, but what appears more obvious is that Ricky Martin as a man has changed, and it’s likely that has a lot to do with who Martin has now chosen to surround himself with, and how he has chosen to live his life.

Once seen as the desired bachelor on the music scene, this Latin music star is now the father of twins and has reached point in his life where he’s found another role, and one that doesn’t force him to have to act in one way or another. In his past feeling truly himself only came to Martin when he was performing with the rest of his life being less about living but keeping up a pretence:

Being on stage fills my soul in many ways, almost completely. It’s my vice. The music, the lights and the roar of the audience are elements that make me feel capable of anything. This rush of adrenaline is incredibly addictive.

These days Ricky has found those same feelings but what is different is it’s not what happens when he jumps on the stage. There is no normal Ricky and stage Ricky. There is just one very content Ricky who now is no longer being drip fed fear, but instead enjoying being a man who lives his life as he wants:

“…it is serenity that brings me to where I’m at right now. An amazing emotional place of comprehension, reflection and enlightenment. At this moment I’m feeling the same freedom I usually feel only on stage, without a doubt, I need to share.”

You might expect Ricky to speak bitterly of those that lead him to feel he couldn’t be who he wanted to be,k but it truly does feel like Martin has found the whole experience a learning curve himself and one for which he also takes responsibility for, attributing part of his decision to speak out now to not wanting to impose fear on his own children:

” To keep living as I did up until today would be to indirectly diminish the glow that my kids where born with. Enough is enough.”

He also sees the time that he was silenced not as wasted years but times that made him stronger and more accepting, not just of others, but also of himself:

“These years in silence and reflection made me stronger and reminded me that acceptance has to come from within and that this kind of truth gives me the power to conquer emotions I didn’t even know existed.”

Finishing his letter on his website with the words:

“Every word that I write in this letter is born out of love, acceptance, detachment and real contentment. Writing this is a solid step towards my inner peace and vital part of my evolution.

I am proud to say that I am a fortunate homosexual man. I am very blessed to be who I am.”

Ricky Martin does indeed sound very much a content and happy gay man no longer afraid of who he is or what being that means to others. For some the contentment that radiates from the letter will read as a hollow and unrealistic in current times when people are still being attacked and murdered for nothing more than being part of the LGBT community, but personally I commend Ricky for writing it. If we all really want things to change we need to not only be standing up against the negativity that comes our way, but we need to do be doing it feeling 100% content and proud of who we are unshaken by those around us. Let weakness or self doubt enter into it and we’re lost before we’ve even begun.