Being a bisexual might mean good things like you have a far wider selection of potential people to date, but it also brings with it a whole heap of discrimination and mis-education about just what bisexuality is, something we attempt to de-junk here with Queeried’s Top Ten Bisexuality Myths.

1. Bisexuals Are Equally Attracted to Men And Women.

Not so much. Yes bisexuals are attracted to both men and women, but that doesn’t mean that they’re going to end up going through life making sure they date equal amounts of both sexes. Bisexuals may well go through life only dating men or only dating women, however what makes them different from a gay man or woman is a bisexual will feel attraction towards both sexes around them.

2. Bisexuals Are Actually Gay

Whilst there will be many gay people who have slept with straight people whilst trying to work out / come to terms with their sexuality, this doesn’t mean that bisexuals are doing the same thing too. Gay people sleep with straight people because they are confused. Bisexuals sleep with gay people and straight people because that’s who they are attracted to, not because they can’t come to terms with being gay.

3. Bisexuals Are Actually Straight

Whilst it’s bad enough being discriminated against by the heterosexual community what is even worse is being discriminated against by a community that knows just how hard it is to be accused of something you’re not. This sadly doesn’t stop some gays and lesbians from doing this exact thing to bisexuals by accusing them of only playing at being gay and actually being straight.

4. Bisexuals Are Sexually Promiscuous

So you’ve got people to actually accept bisexuality exists and you’re not making it up. Surely that must be the end of all the discrimination right? Wrong. Now that you’ve convinced everyone you really are bisexual you have to deal with the belief that bisexuals are all sex obsessed and more concerned with bedding the whole of the population than settling down into a long term relationship.

Being bisexual doesn’t make you a sex addict. It makes you a person who just like everyone else wants to find that one person they could be in a relationship forever with.

5. Bisexuality Is Just A Phase

If you can say being straight is a phase, or being gay is a phase, then sure bisexuality is a phase. The thing is though you can’t say it because well it isn’t true. Bisexual people aren’t any less intelligent than a straight person or a gay person, they know who they are and know how they feel towards both sexes. Undermining their intelligence by telling them it’s only a phase is only going to make you look stupid and ignorant.

6. Bisexuals Are All About Threesomes

Following on from the sexually promiscuous myth is the belief that just because a bisexual is attracted to both sexes that they want to be sleeping with both of them at the same time. Whilst no-one is denying that a bisexual, like a heterosexual or gay person, might have a threesome or two in their lives they also might not. Bisexuality is about having the potential to be attracted to either person, it’s not about being attracted to both at the same time.

7. Bisexuals Face Less Discrimination

Not so much. Many people seem to think that because a bisexual may date either a straight person or a gay person that they’re only ever likely to be 50% discriminated against if at all. The reality is bisexuals are likely to face just as much discrimination. In the US you can still be fired for being a bisexual in 33 states,and even away from legal discrimination there’s the chance you’re not only going to face discrimination from the straight community for sleeping with someone of the same sex but also the same in reverse!

8.  Bisexuals Have The Best Of Both Worlds

Sure bisexuals have a larger selection of people to date than gays or straights, however as the above myth proves they also face discrimination from both sides who will act with hesitation to date someone who “swings both ways”. Also it’s important to note that being bisexual doesn’t mean that you’re suddenly super confident and ready to ask anyone who takes your fancy out. In fact the thought of rejection from not only one sex but both is enough to stop people doing it altogether!

9.  Bisexuals Spread Sexually Transmitted Diseases

Acting to make bisexuals sound more like nasty mosquitoes going around spreading disease than actually being real people this rather beautiful myth is down to the fact that some people being fearful bisexual men and women are going to go around sleeping with infected gay and bisexual men then pass it on to the heterosexual population. Whilst it can’t be said that this doesn’t ever happen, it does again imply that bisexuals don’t have an intelligent bone in their body and wouldn’t know how to protect themselves sexually, which is well wrong!!

10. Bisexuals Will Always Leave Their Gay Lovers For Straight Ones

If there’s anyone to blame for this myth it’s the media. Acting to frequently construct bisexuals as people who are only in same sex relationships for the drama and excitement of it, this has lead to a ridiculous belief that it only needs a nice heterosexual person to come on the scene to make them see the error of their ways.

The truth? Bisexuals leave a relationship for the same reasons as gays and straights do. Because it isn’t working.

Photo by Antikris

If you’re a bisexual who has felt that they’ve had to hide their true sexual identity and instead come out as gay or lesbian then Marcus Morgan’s commentary in the Guardian today is likely to strike a chord with you.

Discussing how society appears to have a need to put people in one box (gay) or another (straight), Morgan acts to question the “straight, gay or lying” perception highlighting that whilst many may want life to be that easy to divide up, the reality is far different with a recent Observer poll on sexual attitudes showing 4% of people – one in 25 – identified as homosexual, and half as many again identified separately as bisexual.

Going on to discuss how the gay, lesbian and straight population have tended to pull apart the definition of bisexuality so they can construct it to mean what they want, which is in most cases something that is a phase rather than a sexual orientation of it’s own, Morgan highlights there is one group very sure of how bisexuality is – bisexuals.

Being full aware that this is no phase, and that being bisexual doesn’t mean that deep down you do actually have a preference one way, the level of negative perception of their sexual orientation within what is meant to be an inclusive society, as Morgan indicates, leaves many not wanting to say what they truly are and instead coming out as gay or lesbian in order to a better reception. And it’s a  sad truth but  is in most cases they will, but it’s one that acts to repress who they truly are, with Morgan describing
the feeling of being a bisexual in the closet in the following way:

“…for a bi on the gay scene, the closet has two doors, a bit like an airlock – behind one of them is a cosy atmosphere with no pressure, and behind the other is what appears to be a vacuum.”

It all makes rather an enlightening but rather depressing read when you read the way one section of our community is treated for being nothing more than who they are. There is some good news though, with Morgan highlighting the change that is occurring via a growing bi scene  in the UK. Including  regional one-day BiFests and the upcoming  national three-day convention BiCon, both a sense of belonging and a growing support network is beginning to  appear, and no longer is the “B” just a letter added on to Pride festivals to make it look inclusive with  Brighton Pride, for example, is working hard to make their Pride a more diverse and accepting festival.

A definite read for any member of the LGBT community. If you’re a bisexual you’re going to read it and want to give Marcus a huge hug for saying what you’ve been thinking for years. If you identify as lesbian or gay, this is a commentary that’s going to make you think, and potentially look at the way you’ve perceivev bisexuality in a completely different light.

You can read Marcus Morgan’s Bisexuals: putting the B back in LGBT on the Guardian website.