Aging UK LGBT Population Facing Having To Go Back Into An Isolating Closet To Survive

The last 50 years has seen huge advances in gay rights within the United Kingdom, something that no doubt deserves to be should celebrate, however Jane Hill’s exploration of the LGBT community and their experiences in old age residential care in BBC Radio 4′s “It’s My Story, Glad To Be Grey” shows all too sadly how many older LGBT people are finding themselves facing that same solid wall of institutionalised homophobia that they were forced to face in their youth.

Talking to one 60 year old woman, Lynda, who now lives in sheltered housing, the impact that this feeling of institutional homophobia has is heartbreaking. Talking about her young years, you don’t just hear just hear Lynda speak to Hill of embracing the gay lifestyle and the fun she had “playing the field”, you hear the excitement and energy that such freedom gave. Contrast that now to a woman who says she doesn’t go out, won’t socialise, and believes she always will hide her sexuality from those who live around her because she doesn’t want to deal with the negative consequences and you’ve got a woman who far from making the last years of the her life the happiest is quickly making them the loneliest.

And then there’s Mary, a retired social worker. Living in a small rural area with her partner they enjoyed their lives together free from any real scrutiny. That was until institutional care became a part of their life when her partner became ill. With time together now more important than ever, all they could ever have wanted was to spend as much time together as possible, however this freedom all too quickly changed to anxiety with both feeling uncomfortable with any affection for each other now being so public after they had lead such a discreet life.

And the sad reality is that as Age UK explain these two cases are far from unique. As our LGBT community are getting older, they’re not getting prouder and more confident about their sexuality, they’re becoming scared of it, seeing it as a barrier that could act to prevent them getting the care and attention that they are now starting to need. The result? Whilst we are seeing more and more young people coming out of the closet earlier in life, at the same we’re seeing more and more older people going straight back in, seeing this as the only way to survive.

But as you and I know, that isn’t any way to survive. Hiding a very real part of who you are never really is possible. People around you may not notice, but you will. You start to feel nervous of who you talk to and what you say. You start to fear what would happen if someone did find out, so you do the only thing you can to survive. You withdraw, hiding yourself away from everyone and anyone ending up not truly living, but believing it’s better than the negativity you could be facing.

So what’s the solution? Well the reality is there’s no quick fix or easy way to change the position of those already feeling this isolation, because as Age UK highlights, once isolated it become increasingly difficult to firstly find, then convince older LGBT people that they don’t need to hide their sexuality from everyone around them. And it’s true, they shouldn’t need to, and there shouldn’t need to be a fix. The Health and Social Care Act of 2008 should protect them and give them the feelings of security they deserve.

So why doesn’t it? Is it really down to a strong degree of institutionalised homophobia within the care system?  Nick Maxwell of Age UK doesn’t believe so. He attributes it to a lack of training and education staff on how to deal with the LGBT community, which all too often results in many doing nothing due to a fear of getting it wrong if they do. Now that may sound ridiculous. What training do people exactly need to deal with us the LGBT community? It’s not as though we’re aliens with three heads that need to be taken into consideration, we’re just people who want our wishes and our lifestyles to be respected.

Well, yes that’s true enough, but what really does that mean to a care worker? Does it mean if your partner is in the room they should leave to give you space if you want to be affectionate with each other, or does it mean they should stay to prove that the homosexual lifestyle is just like the heterosexual lifestyle, and so if they wouldn’t leave the room as a heterosexual couple kiss each other goodbye, then they shouldn’t when you do either? Once you start thinking about it it doesn’t seem so easy to know what to do off the cuff straightaway does it…

But it does seem like the place to start. Many of these older LGBT people have been at the forefront of pushing for the gay rights we have today. They’ve been the ones who’ve had to stand up and take action because no-one else would. Now they deserve not to have to fight. Not to have to go back into the closet they fought so hard to get out of. Now they deserve for the government to make the system 100% LGBT friendly by training each and every member of staff to make each and every LGBT care recipient know they’re just as accepted for who they are. and what they stand for as every other person who uses the system.

You can hear Jane Hill’s BBC Radio 4 “It’s My Story, Glad To Be Gay” programme until 25th July 2010 on the BBC iPlayer.

Photo Credit: Pedro Ribeiro Simones